JMOP
by OnakagaSuita
Summary: Um .. well u know how Shampoo is always using those products from Jusenkyo ..... well fer once one of them works .... i know, i know really origional


All characters of Ranma ½ belong to the goddess Rumiko Takahashi and Viz. Please don't sue I couldn't pay more than five cents.  
  
J.M.O.P.  
  
Prologue – It works!!! . . . . . . .Or does it ?  
  
*reading something*  
  
Chinese  
  
: : thoughts: :  
  
  
  
~ Inside the Nekohanten ~  
  
Shampoo was leaning against the counter in the kitchen reading a magazine, when Cologne hopped in on her staff. The foot tall old woman stopped next to Shampoo startling her. "Granddaughter you wouldn't be reading that Jusenkyo mail order magazine again would you?"   
  
Shampoo pushed away from the counter quickly hiding the magazine behind her. "Oh hello great-grandmother, uh no I wasn't doing anything."  
  
"Shampoo you know the products from Jusenkyo never work. And if it does work it always works wrong."   
  
"Yes I know great-grandmother."  
  
"Good," Cologne pogoed out of the room on her staff.  
  
Shampoo sighed and returned to reading the magazine. : : man was that close . Let's see red thread, yep tried that. . . . . . : :  
  
~ Ten minutes and a large list later. ~  
  
* Pink powder- this powder will make the people who eat it fall in love. Just place a little in the person whom u want to love you, after eating some yourself, and they will fall head over heels in love with you. (may take anywhere from three seconds to two days to take affect.) * : : This is perfect: : Shampoo reached over and grabbed the phone dialing the number by heart.  
  
"Ni hao J's mop service, how may we help you?"  
  
"Ni hao Suno Suki this is Xian Pu."  
  
"Oh hey Xian Pu, how are you doing?"  
  
"Oh I am fine Suno Suki but listen I was thinking of ordering something I found here in the catalog."  
  
"Eh you still trying to win that Ranma fella?"  
  
"Yes as a matter of fact I am Suno Suki."  
  
Shampoo could hear Suno Suki sigh over the phone. "Well what was it you wanted to order."  
  
"Some of the Pink Powder."  
  
"Alright let me see if we have any on stock." Shampoo could then hear the sound of someone typing away furiously at a computer. "Ah here we are. Pink powder. We do have some and for the low, low price just $19.99 I can send you some."  
  
"Really that sounds like an offly low price."  
  
"Actually it's on sale this week. Ok well you should have it in about two days."  
  
~ Two days later ~  
  
"Xian my love" Shampoo cringed and turned at the sound of her name. What she saw was, Mousse, the blind martial artist, come running into the room and hug the refrigerator.  
  
"What you want stupid Mu Tze?"  
  
"Xian, my love, a package has arrived for you. And I have brought it to you."  
  
Shampoo looked at the package in Mousse's hand. * From: Jusenkyo Mail Order Products. To: A Ms. Shampoo.* Shampoo picked up the glass of water she had been drinking and poured it on the blind martial artist. She then leaned down and picked up the package, and opened it. Inside was a letter and two small containers.  
  
*Dear Ms. Shampoo inclosed is the product that you ordered along with some complimentary toadstools. We are sending the toadstool along as a compliment for being such a good customer.  
  
Sincerely  
  
The people at J. M. O. P.*  
  
Shampoo smiled as she turned around and began to cook some food ignoring the quacks from the irate duck at her feet.  
  
~ A little while later ~  
  
Shampoo was biking along down the streets of Nerima; she was on her way to the Tendou Dojo. She was just turning a corner when she ran into something. Shampoo had to jump through the air and land several feet away because whatever she had hit totaled her bike. Standing in front of the bike solid as a rock and just as unshattered was Ryoga. Shampoo stared at the site of the lost boy standing there reading a map.  
  
Ryoga looked up and seemed to notice Shampoo for the first time. "Oh hi Shampoo what're you doing in Hokkaido?"  
  
"Ryoga, this Nerima." Shampoo set down the delivery box she had been carrying.  
  
Ryoga looked slightly sheepish as he said, "Oh so that's why this map didn't look right. . . . . . . . Umm Shampoo could you possibly take me to the Tendou Dojo?"  
  
Shampoo stared at Ryoga a moment making him nervous then to his surprise said, "Sure, Shampoo go there now." Shampoo walked across the street and took Ryoga's hand. She then started off on foot, leaving behind the metal heap, which had once been her bike.  
  
~ At the Tendou dojo ~  
  
"Stupid lost boy, Tendou Dojo not that way." Shampoo reached out and grabbed Ryoga's shirt stopping him from wandering into some strangers' house.  
  
"Oops."  
  
Shampoo led Ryoga across the street. "We here."  
  
Shampoo jumped the wall surrounding the Tendou Dojo and ending up in the back yard. "Ni hao!"  
  
Ranma who was under the amazon's feet groaned. Shampoo looked down to see whom she had landed on. "Aiyaa Ranma what you do down there?" Shampoo quickly stepped off Ranma's back and picked him up. "Ranma date with Shampoo yes?"  
  
Just then Akane came out of the living room, and saw Shampoo holding Ranma. "Ranma no baka!" She then pulled out her chi mallet and attempted to clobber Ranma.  
  
Shampoo quickly jumped out of the way taking care to make sure Ranma didn't get hurt. When she landed she stood glaring at Akane. Ranma jumped out of Shampoo's arms and landed in-between the two girls. "So umm Shampoo what brings you here today? Heh heh"  
  
Shampoo stopped glaring at Akane and turned to Ranma. "Shampoo make Airen lunch." Shampoo turned to where she had left the food only to find it gone. "Aiyaa where Shampoo food go?" She then began to look around franticly not noticing the look of relief/disappointment on Ranma's face. That was when she noticed Ryoga sitting in the kitchen eating some ramen out of a bowl marked *property of the Nekohanten.*  
  
"Aiyaa what Ryoga doing with food Shampoo make for Airen?"  
  
Ryoga looked up from the food he was eating and stared at Shampoo. "An angel, Oh Shampoo my love." Ryoga got up from where he was sitting and threw himself at Shampoo. Shampoo pulled out one of her bonbori and frantically hit the now lovesick bot into the stratosphere. "No be Fresh."  
  
Shampoo then turned around and silently walked away.  
  
  
  
- Later at the NekoHanten -  
  
Shampoo's eyes turned icy as she began to chop some vegetables, hitting the poor chopping board harder. Soon the board could not hold up under the pressure and it broke with a loud "snap."  
  
"Shampoo would there happen to be anything bothering you?"  
  
"Shampoo no want talk 'bout it." Cologne sighed and went back to cooking the pork in front of her.  
  
~ Lunchtime ~  
  
Shampoo set the bowls down in front of the customers and breathed deeply. :: StupidlostboyStupidlostboyStupidlostboyStupidlostboyStupidlostboy :: Shampoo looked down at her hand when she heard something crack only to see the chopsticks she had been holding laying on the table in two. "So sorry me get you nuther pair." Shampoo wandered off her eye's glazing over.  
  
"Shampoo, my angel"  
  
Shampoo stiffened as she felt arms slip around her. She then turned and kicked Ryoga, sending him into the atmosphere. "TOLD STUPID LOST BOY NO BE FRESH."  
  
Cologne slipped out of the kitchen in time to see the last of their customers slipping out of the Nekohanten. All the while a softly glowing Shampoo stood in the middle of the restaurant staring at a boy shaped whole in the ceiling. "Perhaps now you will tell me what is going on Xian Pu."   
  
Shampoo turned to see Cologne and sighed knowing that, that had not been a request but an order from an Elder.  
  
"I ordered a product from Jusenkyo called Pink Powder, I intended to use it on my husband to be, but before I could Ryoga ate it."   
  
Cologne sat down at one of the tables. "Ah Xian I thought I told u not to order from there any more."   
  
Shampoo looked down at her feet embarrassed, "I know and I am sorry Elder Ku Lon."   
  
Cologne sighed deeply for what seemed the hundredth time that day and said, "However this may be a good way to catch son-in-law."  
  
Shampoo looked up surprise written on her face.  
  
~ At the Tendou Dojo ~  
  
Ranma sat on the porch wandering at what he had seen and how this new bit of madness fit into his already chaotic life. And how in the world to make it so that no one blamed this on him. 


End file.
